We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
