I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
