Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
