ya dads aren't the best wingmen
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
