i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
is wine microwaveable?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
