Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
