Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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