he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
