It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
