the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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