I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
