I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
