she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
