Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
