Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
