im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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