so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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