what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I've blown a few things in my day
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
