I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
