It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
