Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
There r osticjed everywhere
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
