just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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