Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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