Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
