If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
