piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
