...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
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