She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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