Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
