I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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