but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
