Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Randomize
