He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
