And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
