actually, I'm a sock model
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
