worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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