If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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