You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
