You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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