I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
