OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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