Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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