This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
