a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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