The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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