over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
