OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
