I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
last night I used snow as a chaser
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
