I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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