I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
