Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
