Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
