it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
